Grief is unique to every person meaning there's no right or wrong in how you process your thoughts and feelings around this, says counsellor, Hannah Bolton.

"Grief can be for example the loss of a loved one, a broken-down relationship, loss of a job or change in circumstance.

"Depending on your circumstances, a range of different emotions will come up for you. What some people find easy you may not and that's ok," added Hannah.

"If you are grieving for a loss of relationship or a loved one the role you were to that person affects the way you grieve. You may find yourself asking, what's my purpose now? How do I move forward? How do I remember them? Or why is everyone saying you should have moved on by now?"

There is no time limit on how long you grieve for says counsellor, Hannah Bolton. (Photo: Hannah Bolton)

You may hear lots of advice of you 'should' do this or 'must' do this. Its what feels right for you, says Hannah but there is no time limit on how long you grieve for.

"There are many grief models around, but I always refer to the five stages of grief which is not linear, and you can go back and forth from each stage taking as long as it takes. There's no pressure to be at certain points in your life at any stage."

The five stages of grief are known as: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages involve feeling a variety of emotions and asking yourself questions like, why me?

"If I did this differently would this have happened? If I could go back in time, could I have changed what happened? You may feel angry at someone who has died which is perfectly natural," said Hannah.

"Any emotion you have is not 'wrong' you have every right to feel the way you do. Grief is processed in your own space and time.

"I am talking not only from a counselling perspective but from a personal one too. I have lost several people in my life both through people passing away as well as ending toxic relationships.

"Not one of these circumstances was easy and at times I questioned my role in these relationships, and I struggled with self -doubt, distanced myself a lot and became angry with people I didn't feel understood.

"I became annoyed at platitudes I received, 'oh you are young you will move on,' or 'don't worry it gets better.' At those times they are things I didn't want to hear so switched off or snapped at people."

For anyone grieving again there is no right and wrong to how you feel or if you are someone trying to support another you don't always have to say anything - just take the time to sit and listen, advised Hannah.

If you are unsure of what to do follow the persons lead if they want to talk let them, if not just sit in silence together - the most important thing is that you are there.

"If you are thinking of coming for bereavement counselling this is something I offer," said Hannah. "I am very much led by you, there is no agenda - we focus on what you would like too.

"The sessions are not limited so you can have as many or as little as you want. If you would like to enquire about bereavement counselling, please feel free to contact me."

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

You can contact Hannah by visiting her website, calling her on: 07768198184, or emailing: [email protected]. 

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