Men fight against society to open up about their feelings says a person-centred Alsager counsellor

By Guest author 1st May 2024

There's a reason why statistics are so high for men struggling with depression and suicide, says counsellor Hannah Bolton. (Photo: Hannah Bolton)
There's a reason why statistics are so high for men struggling with depression and suicide, says counsellor Hannah Bolton. (Photo: Hannah Bolton)

There's a reason why statistics are so high for men struggling with depression and suicide. Men are fighting against society to open up about their feelings.

Those sayings, 'man up,' or 'big boys don't cry' still get thrown around. Society's view is for men to, 'put up and shut up,' and it's seen as a weakness to be open about feeling, says counsellor, Hannah Bolton..

"There's also an assumption that women can be more in tune with their emotions compared to men which isn't entirely true," she said.

"As individuals we all feel differently talking about our feelings. We may open up more to certain people, choosing to show different parts of our self to others depending upon the circumstances.

"There's still a view that it is more acceptable for women to talk about their feelings. You often hear, 'oh another mother's meeting,' or 'women can chatter for Britain,' which can make men feel isolated and sometimes afraid to put their feelings and opinions forward."

I did walk into a baby group the other week where most parents there were mums with one man present says Hannah.

"He sat on his own looking round the group appearing uncomfortable. I did approach him to make conversation, he stated he was relieved and felt out of place.

"He also said he was put off going to baby/toddler groups as he felt left out and knew other dads that felt the same. I did empathise with him, and it made me reflect on how we can get rid of this stigma about societies norms.

"Men are also dads, granddads, husbands, uncles, sons, and brothers. A man is also his own individual person with thoughts, values, and opinions.

"It doesn't make a man any less of a person by opening up and discussing how they feel. There is no right and wrong to how someone chooses to deal with their emotions and men should be accepted for wanting to talk."

Hannah says she watched a programme on men's mental health with a group of men asking each other, 'are you ok,' followed by, 'but are you really ok,' encouraging each other to be honest about what's going on.

"I think this is a great idea. If you are struggling, there can be a fear that you are a burden to someone, or they don't want to hear what you have to say. I've found this is not always the case and open conversations lead to positive outcomes.

"I get asked do men come to see you for counselling which I always reply yes. So far, I've always had a positive outcome with men seeking counselling.

"Counselling provides a safe confidential space where you don't have to hide. You can open up about what you would like to, to help make sense of how you feel, free from judgement."

If you are a man struggling in silence with your mental health, please feel free to get in touch. I would love to be able to help you. I offer a free initial chat to see If counselling is something you would like to have. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

You can contact Hannah by visiting her website, calling her on: 07768198184, or emailing: [email protected]

If it wasn't for our sponsors like Hannah Bolton Counselling, our news site would not be possible. Thank you. 

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