Self confidence means different things to everyone. For some, it may be about building on a positive body image, or it could be looking at how you feel about yourself, says person-centred counsellor, Hannah Bolton.

The saying, 'we are our worst enemy,' is sadly true, our own voice can be cruel at times. That voice can tell you, 'You are not good enough,' 'no one likes you,' or 'you can't do that.'

"That voice says that you've failed before you have even started. It can make you withdrawn or give up on all expectations of yourself and everything around you," said Hannah.

"It can feel safer to not have expectations of yourself or others as it protects you from getting hurt. On the flip side of that its also very lonely. You may end up isolating yourself and not taking opportunities that you deserve."

But how do I tell myself I'm enough?

"That of course doesn't happen overnight - it can be a long process to build self-confidence," added Hannah.

These are a few tips I've learned over the years that helped me which I thought I would share:

· Write on your mirror 'I am enough' so that you can see it every day and say it to yourself as you see It.

· Put in healthy boundaries for yourself so you are not, 'spreading yourself too thin.'

· Learn to say no without feeling guilty – this can take time but becomes easier the more you do it.

· Take some time in your day to practice self-care whether that's exercise, seeing family and friends or having time by yourself.

· Don't put on a mask – be the same version of you with everyone. It can be comfortable to hide parts of yourself due to the fear of being judged. Have your head held high and remember that you are enough, if you are not going to be accepted for who you are ask yourself do you really want those people in your life?

· Surround yourself with people who love and accept you for who you are.

· Do something that takes you completely out of your comfort zone.

"I recently stood up in front of thirty health care professionals and did a presentation around parental anxiety and self-care," said Hannah.

"Public speaking is definitely not something that comes naturally to me. I could feel myself starting the presentation with my palms shaking and feeling bright red with everyone's eyes on me.

"As I carried on, I fell into in and became more confident. I had some amazing feedback afterwards and I felt so proud of what I had done. It massively increased my confidence and I'm glad I pushed myself to do it.

"By doing something out of your comfort zone can make you realise that you are capable of more than you think. It gives you confidence to try new things and believe in yourself more."

For anyone who would like to work on confidence building please feel free to get in touch and its something we can do together.

You can contact Hannah by visiting her website, calling her on: 07768198184, or emailing: [email protected]. 

If it wasn't for our sponsors like Hannah Bolton Counselling, our news site would not be possible. Thank you. 

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